life-adventurer

Life changing story

雲の後ろはいつも青空

Now I’m struggling to build my ideal life.
I don’t want to work in company anymore.
I don’t think that I’m suitable for working for a company.

I want to be freelancer as a blogger and writer,and translator in near future.
Although I’m already writer and blogger as I already started writing articles on the website.

I want to travel around the world as a freelancer. So I’ll do my best to fulfill my dream.
So I’ll keep on striving to live my own life.

All the time, I have been thought that It’s impossible to live my own life, because
life is a serious of compromises. Right?

If we are satisfied and be happy by compromising, it’s ok. Keep on doing that.
But if not, I think that I need to change something.

Almost all people don’t seem to satisfied with their life. So they just keep on waiting….
But nothing happen to save their life. Then,they live a life to the end feeling miserable..

Nothing happen only by only waiting. We have to take action by ourself.
And we need to listen the voice from our own heart.

We tend to ignore our own voice. The reason is pressure!!
We are afraid of what the other people think to ourself.

But it’s fake. If they are satisfied with their life, they never interfere with the other people’s business!! They are just hiding from theirselves by interfering with the other
people’s business!!
Actually, since I decided to follow my heart and move ahead on my own way, how much did the life change in a positive way.

I could meet many good supporters in my life by believing myself.
They would never show up when we kept standing still.
They showed up because I moved ahead

So if you think that no one understand you, it doesn’t matter!!
Just move ahead in your own way!!!
You can find your soul mates on the way.

We can change our life and ourself even though how hard it looks now.
I want to prove that it’s true the rest of life.

Because I’ve made many obstacles through in my life and I’m here now.

When I was a kid, I’m quiet. So I tend to spend time alone.
Then, I was bullied at elementary school. Some students treated me as a gem.
I couldn’t adapt myself to the class. I was afraid of the other people.
I underestimated me and overestimated the other people so much at that time.
My expression was dark and was sitting still in the class during recess.
Sometimes I went to toilet and cried hoping I could exchange me with the other students

I couldn’t confide in my parents about my school life. Even though I did it, they wouldn’t have done anything for me.
They wouldn’t be interested in my school life.
They didn’t afford to be care children’s life as they didn’t have good background and they had been struggling to live as well.

So I kept on standing the situation believing that someday, everything will change and the hardship will be end in future.

When I was 18years olds,high school student. My father passed away suddenly.
He committed. He couldn’t adapt his self to society as well.
So my mother often blamed himself for that. They argued sometimes. Mainly the reason is money.

She has believed that happiness comes from the other people, stuff but herself such as good husband good children, good job, good background and so on.

Anyway, after my father passed away, I became a university student.
And I sometimes hung out with friends. Then, she started to blame me without reason.
So I didn’t want to go home every day and felt down when I went home.

When I was 22 years old, senior. I got a boyfriend.
As he was really nice and warm, I trusted myself to him. I felt peach of mind with him which I couldn’t feel with family.

I had a relationship with him for five years and got married to him.
I wanted to build good family and wanted to have a peaceful place I couldn’t have
in my family.
But it didn’t last long. Our marriage fell apart only in three years.
I couldn’t adapt myself to his family. Our background is totally opposite.
I couldn’t have good family I’ve dreamed of

After that, I got back to my mom’s home.
She blamed me and spoke ill of me many times. And my brother almost hit my face twice.
But I couldn’t leave home soon as I didn’t have a courage. Even though I wasn’t happy there, it’s difficult to change the situation. I was more afraid of uncertainness than unhappy certainness

But a few years later, I thought that I had to take action to change my life,My heart will be broken without doing something. It already reached my limit. Not only because family problem but also the situation around me.

I was really bored and tired of the conversation of some people around me.
They are really narrow minded and boring people.
They are bored of the happiness which is given so they repeat the meaningless
conversation.

And it seemed situation didn’t change at all for a few years even though I’d been waiting something good come.

Besides I realized at some point of my life that what the other people’ve said to me wasn’t truth.
I thought that I couldn’t believe anyone but me.

So I determined to take action to change my life by myself.
Even if I fail, nothing ll change from the beginning as I already lost everything.
I thought so.

Then, I traveled around the world. After that, I’ve lived in Malaysia and now I’m
in Japan and live in share house and I’m struggling to fulfill my dream.
I don’t think that all of these attempts succeed.
World travel was much harder than I expected. I couldn’t keep up with the job in Malaysia although I know it’s just my way.

But I took action many times to step out of comfort zone to build my own life.
It doesn’t matter whether I fail or not.
But I’m sure that these action changed my life.

I want to prove that we can change our life by going ahead our own way as I already mentioned.

Then, I want to prove that I’m right against those people who used to tell me that you are not good, you are different!
But It’s good different!! I want to say loudly with confidence and It’s my revenge. But it’s good revenge!!

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